Dear Kelly,
I love you, and I'm so happy you're my best friend. You're family too. And even though we aren't married and living in our respective beach houses with our respective handsome husbands and taking pictures of our pregnant bellies with our cell phones, I don't mind.
You're gonna be the sweet-as-pie school teacher friend with a billion adopted student-kids, and I'll be the crazy gypsy writer friend that you visit in Boston when you're feeling a tad risky. And although your cardigan sweater will faithfully wait for you alongside your spinning globe and piles of ungraded quizzes, and my impossibly tiny desk in my impossibly tiny apartment will await my rapidly typing fingers and the gurgling of my coffee maker, we will have those nights when we remember what it's like to be in stupid-love, drunk with the giggles, fearless in the face of fashion faux pas and high heels at dizzying heights.
We will remember what it feels like to have a good cry because it feels good, and go to the car wash, 'cause that feels good too. And remember how obsessed we were with boy bands, and Leo DiCaprio, glittery nail polish, passing notes, hating our parents, singing Shania Twain at the top of our lungs while sitting in my Mom's parked car because we couldn't wait until we turned 16 to get our licenses and drive with the wind in our hair.
We'll laugh in the face of ugly bridesmaids dresses, annoying coworkers, the freshman 15 that never went away, men who weren't worth our time, and interviewers who never called us back.
"Ha hah!" We shall say, our fists raised in triumph for we have overcome it all, and we barely broke a sweat.
We will nod with knowing eyes at those who warn us of the impending doom of wrinkles, stretch marks, property taxes, mom jeans, tacky home decor choices, and mother-in-laws. For, we have each other. And you and I, my friend, are no run of the mill American girls who settle for humdrum. We are fabulous. We started out fabulous before fabulous was en vogue, with bushy eye brows, Billy Joel tee shirts and crazy dreams - and look at us now.
I can't speak for me, but I can speak for you when I say that there's a reason you light up a room when you walk through the door, and I'll give you a hint: it's not your bronzer or sparkly eye shadow. It's that shiny light inside you, kind of like the one an Angler Fish uses to lure in it's prey (only yours is prettier), that sucks people into your orbit only for them to be wowed further by the many natural wonders of your amazing planet. When people carry their inner lights between their hearts and their sleeves, something magical happens.
Light carriers (that's us) gather into packs and band around one another feeding and growing on a never-ending supply of love that keeps our life-engines running. Unlike so many naysayers in this world, we do not envy the light of others; we celebrate it as if every day were their birthday. And the more we smile, the more others do too, and eventually when you leave the party to head back to the mundane tasks of everyday life, everyone will be left wondering who that girl was - but their not worried - they know they'll see you again.
Because Willie Nelson said it best: we are angels flying too close to ground.
And Aunt Beth said it even better: darling, don't look now but your halo's a little crooked.
We may not be perfect but we are best friends, and that my dear, says it all. Some girls out there may feel their shoulders droop as they watch their lives pass them by; but not us. No ma'am, we're in the ring riding Bodacious the bucking bronco that is life, and we're too busy laughing to worry about the fall. After all, it's only a little dust way down there, and after you fall and shake it all off, there's a line of handsome cowboys waiting by the cattle gates to tip their hats and smile. And I'll be right there beside you with a can of soda, a high five, and a good game.
So when you find yourself comparing yourself to those who appear to be better than you, remember you are worth more then your weight in gold and you have every right to believe in yourself as much as I believe in you. I love you. Thanks for being my best friend. You rock like a hurricane.
Sincerely,
Me
When it was over, all I could think about was how this entire notion of oneself, what we are, is just this logical structure, a place to momentarily house all the abstractions. It was a time to become conscious, to give form and coherence to the mystery, and I had been a part of that. It was a gift. Life was raging all around me and every moment was magical. I loved all the people, dealing with all the contradictory impulses - that's what I loved the most, connecting with the people. Looking back, that's all that really mattered."
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