The present state of the economy and the lack of job opportunities for recent graduates has forced many post-grad twenty-somethings to move back in with Mom and Dad to save money, not to mention brace themselves for the onset of student loan pay-back. But an even stranger trend is growing in popularity across the country: moving in with our grandparents.
They spoiled us as kids. They taught us life lessons and told us stories about the Jurassic period (circa the 1940s). They fed us too many cookies and took us to sit on Santa’s lap at the mall. They said things like, “when I was your age”, and dragged us along for visits with other white-haired people.
But now some post-grads, having realized that living in peace with newly (happily) empty-nested parents is out of the question, have turned to the loving homes of their grandparents for a reprieve from rent for a while.
But what we got was a whole lot more than we bargained for.
As a child, we get to know our grandparents one way. It turns out that a relationship between a small child and their grandpa is very different from one between a raucous member of generation-Y and a wise, coupon-clipping senior citizen.
Joy Hepp, CNN.com contributor, reported back in April 2008 on this growing trend. Aaron Moncivaiz of Pheonix, Arizona, moved in with his grandmother, Shirley Harkness, with the goal of saving money to move to New York to begin his writing career.
“…She lived nearby and had an extra room for which she wouldn't charge him rent; he could reach the higher shelves in the kitchen for her and program the VCR. They gave it a shot, and so far they've worked out the important things.”
Hepp goes on to report that Moncivaiz isn’t the only one. According to Mario D. Garrett, chair of the Department of Gerontology at San Diego State University and director of the university's Center on Aging, “ ‘Changing demographics are part of it,’ he says, ‘people are living longer, so grandparents are more likely to be around. College students are graduating into a slumping economy. And some of these graduates grew up with their grandparents: More than 6 million grandparents were living with underage grandchildren in 2000, according to the U.S. Census’.”
The picture painted above, VCR and all, is exactly what it’s like. I help do the heavy lifting, I put together furniture from boxes, I clean the snow off her car, and I help with the grocery shopping. In return, I get to save up for grad school. I get a cozy bedroom upstairs, rent free, with a TV (no cable), shag carpet, and an endless supply of peppermint tea and tidbits of wisdom directly below in the kitchen.
We make things work. Obi (her preferred nickname) and I respect each other’s space and habits, and occasionally share a healthy belly laugh over the hilarity of our age differences. From the outside it may seem odd, but there is something to be said for getting back to the Old School.
Living with a grandparent is primarily a learning process. It requires tremendous amounts of patience and strong listening skills. It gives new meaning to the phrase “respecting your elders”. Now, instead of respecting our elders in two hour doses during family visits, it becomes an around-the-clock job that can eventually be incredibly beneficial to our (somewhat delayed) moral development.
Kelly Blais of Suffield, Connecticut also just recently moved in with her grandfather, Edmond Krajewski of Windsor. She says that, although life is very different living with her grandfather, it’s nice overall. He faithfully makes dinner every night and requires that she study hard while finishing up her graduate degree. She does the dusting and vacuuming, and even cares for the household cat that she lovingly despises. Getting used to early bedtimes and early mornings was hard at first, she continues, but they make it work.
Too often, the tech-savvy generation Y does not take into consideration the tremendous value that old fashioned etiquette and moral codes have.
In my case, Obi has made it clear that although the dating world is very different now than it was in the late 40s, women should always expect a man to court her. Women deserve nothing less than the utmost respect and good manners when on a date, and a proper gentleman will walk you to the door expecting no more than a kiss, if he’s lucky.
Krajewski shares his lifelong wisdom with Blais in the form of an undying work ethic, and a strong desire to feed his granddaughter. In the Krajewski household, three squares a day feed the mind and body, (plus hearty snacking in between) and an honest day’s work is priceless. Krajewski, at 81, still works full time.
The miraculous teaming-up of Americas seniors and their grown grandkids may be a move in the right direction. As we face an economic recession with American households refocusing on family values, the reconnection of the young and not-so-young may be just what Generation Y needs to stand strong against commercial materialism, debt, and rising addiction and divorce rates. Not that there’s anything wrong with the New School, but let’s face it, the Old School had to be doing something right.
Source: http://articles.cnn.com/2008-04-11/living/lw.grandma.roomie_1_bank-teller-roommate-returns-home?_s=PM:LIVING
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